Can You Barely Stand It?

Don’t lie. You are fully aware that it’s down to the final “two” on “The Bachellorette.” You live the drama and eat it up like ice cream with gossip sprinkles on top.

If you have something better to do at 9 pm on a Monday night, I am purely jealous.

Due to both my mother’s unhealthy obsession with this show and my love for “The Soup” on E!, I’ve been roped in and am actually biting my nails over the weekend wondering whether Jillian will choose Ed with the super short “short-shorts” or Kiptyn with a “y” and the more appropriately proportioned shorts. But, wait. Don’t count Reid out just because he walked away without a rose two weeks ago. It’s going to be the “most dramatic rose ceremony yet!”

She Knows “No”

She has mastered one answer to any question you throw at her. “No.”

But, wait. Before you laugh it off as run of the mill toddler drama. It’s more thoughtful than that.

A few months ago I noticed that she focused in on when I said “no,” “not,” or “don’t.” She seized on it and all the power it holds. For instance, today she picked up a puzzle piece and tried to use it as a magnet on the fridge knowing full well that it wouldn’t stick. She doesn’t know how else to say, “Mama, this puzzle piece has no magnetic powers.” So, she just said, “No,” as she repeatedly demonstrated that it wouldn’t stay up.

Her “No” isn’t a whiny or demanding proclamation. It’s the kind of relaxed and satisfied answer you would give after having had a delicious meal, followed by Italian coffee and dessert. Then the waiter comes over to ask if you’d like anything else, and you say pleasantly, “No, thank you.” That’s Lolo.

It’s uncanny how well she is able to recognize the inflection of a question even if she has no idea of the meaning. I see it most often when the TV is on during a commercial and the announcer asks a question like, “Are you paying too much for cable Internet?” From the other side of the room engrossed in another activity, she’ll hear the call and reach out to say, “No.”

The Art Of Gradually

It’s been a year since we set up camp here in the burbs, and we just hung pictures in the dining room.

In honor of our first anniversary, I decided to finally paint the walls that have been driving me crazy since we moved in. It’s the same color that the previous owners had, but they only one used one coat of paint. And, we all know what one coat of paint is … wrong.

By process of elimination, we figred out that it’s Alexandria Beige by Benjamin Moore. But, we had Home Depot color match it for us using a new low VOC paint called YOLO.

Voila! Bit by bit, we kick out the old owners and stamp this abode with our own style.

I had to throw the ever present U.S. Mail to the side so I could take a clutter free picture lest the Internet think that I am a bad housewife.

I Hate Her

Stupidly, I decided to do an exercise video the day before leaving on a plane with Lolo because there was no time for the gym. It’s a little program called “30 Day Shred” by the above pictured demon, Jillian Michaels. Actually, you only need 30 minutes to feel completely shredded but I did 60 because I must have something to prove.

I didn’t have any hand weights to use, so I improvised with cans of cranberry sauce. I moderated between the high intensity and so-called low intensity example exercises. Of course, the woman showing the easier moves had the superior exercise outfit. I rationalized that following her showed that I had an exceptional sense of style. What kind of motivation is that anyway? In any case, my quads were wrecked for the trip.

Unfortunately the huff-and-puff session wasn’t enough to alleviate the mounting anxiety brought on by the idea of plane travel with a toddler. I came as close to an anxiety attack as I ever have right before leaving the house. Plane travel in general gets me all bunched up. But, thinking about doing it alone with no one to lend a hand had me spinning out of control. The “what ifs” were endlessly dancing in my head. We got all the way to the airport only to realize I left the Beco carrier on the dining room table. No, I can’t live without it, and yes, she honestly still loves riding in her carrier. I know that she will be destined for one of these soon … Then, we raced all the way back to the house to retrieve it and then back to the airport for a second time only to realize that we had left the GoGo Babyz Travelmate at home. (It’s a fabulous invention that turns a car seat into a stroller by adding wheels and a handle.)

But, it all worked out because the airline agent felt sorry for me with all the crap I had to carry and gave Matt a “gate ticket” to accompany me through security all the way to the terminal. Lolo was a superb passenger and responded well to the whole experience as long as I had the right food and entertainment material on hand (which explains why I had to lug so much stuff along).

It only took me two days after arriving in VA to be able to walk up and down the stairs without cringing and muttering hateful words under my breath about my virtual personal trainer.

Everything but …

“I like everything BUT the sand, Mama.” Seriously, we had to create an island for her and continue to brush off any granules that happened to adhere to her body. Only a fruit bar could make it tolerable.

We’re back from the beach and I am slowly but surely uploading photos and creating posts in my head.