In The Spirit

It’s pretty spooky around these parts.

She

She knows “two.” When she sees two of anything, she loves to point it out, and if those two things happen to be both large and small in size, well, one is the mama and one is the baby. There is a neighbor with two American flags in their yard, one full size and one about the size of printer paper. Every time she sees them, she mock cries for the baby flag and motions that it needs to be comforted by the mama flag. She is obsessed with pointing out flags in general. It’s a hobby.

She can recognize the letters F, C and Z.

She loves the whole idea of mail and relishes in our chore of bringing the red mail (Net-flix) to the blue mailbox down the street.

She likes to play “take care of baby” as much as she likes to play with cars and trucks. Right now she is fascinated with methods of transportation and construction with diggers, trash trucks, taxis and tow trucks being some of her favorites.

Her favorite number to say is five.

Me: “Let’s count, Lolo. One …”
Lolo: “Twooo, Feee …”
Me: “What’s next?”
Lolo: “Figh …”
Me: “Not five yet, four.”
Lolo: “Figh …”
Me: “Five, six …”
Lolo: “Figh …”

Busybody

Adventures in the life of a busybody: Frenetic movements of an intense person annoyed when not everyone matches her intensity or pace.

I was at the JCC gym on one of my regular Tuesdays or Thursdays working out for the hour Lolo allows me to leave her side. I immediately noticed the absence of snacks in the “Kid Care” room when I dropped her off.

Sidenote: You are not allowed to bring your own snacks into the room. They provide a mock-Cheerio option called Perky O’s that is allergen-free. Perky O’s contain no nuts, no gluten, no wheat, no soy and no dairy. And, last but not least, it’s Kosher. I’m sure it’s delicious and perky, but I’ve never tried it.

When I picked her up, I asked the caregivers about it and they said that someone was going to the store to get  more boxes. I let it go.

The following week, same story. Now they are asking me to take action with the suggestion box.

The next week, which is  three weeks without snacks, I took matters to the membership office. The director told me that they were aware of the issue and that their nutritionist was working with Whole Foods to find an alternative since Perky O’s cereal had been discontinued. I told them that I appreciated their struggle to find a cereal that matched all of their allergen-free needs but that they should have communicated this to the members instead of us just griping about the lack of snacks. She understood that I was frustrated and said that if I had any suggestions on cereal snacks that would fit the bill that I was welcome to submit ideas. And, she added that it also had to be edible by infants just learning to eat solids.

(I know what you’re thinking. This kid can’t go an hour without something to eat? Of course she can. It’s the principle of the matter. If I can’t bring her grapes and raisins because of your rules, and you pledged to provide a snack that meets your center’s allergen-free needs, then do it.)

That’s all the challenge I needed. Three weeks of research and consultation with Whole Foods and you still don’t have an answer? Really? I’m sure the nutritionist was burning the midnight oil hunting down snack options for toddlers.

My mind went buzzing into its Internet search zone. On the drive home, I started thinking about all the cereals I had seen on the shelves of Whole Foods. Once I was home and Lolo had a suitable smorgasbord in front of her, I fired up the old Internet to find a snack contender. First, I found a Kosher foods catalog site and cross referenced it with a gluten-free site. In five minutes, I found several options, the first of which was sold in value-sized boxes at the old-fashioned grocery store, Rice Chex!

I immediately called the director and left a voicemail with my idea. Another week went by with no new snacks until I got a call from the Kid Care coordinator who wanted to thank me for my suggestion and that because of me, Rice Chex cereal was now the official JCC snack.

The glory. I basked.

Shoppin’

My dear husband was lucky enough to get a cheap ticket with friends to the Yankees vs. Redsox game Saturday, so I smartly (as any wifey would) used that as leverage for my own alone time on Sunday.

Since I wore the same five shirts all winter last year, I am in need of a fresh set of five. (It’s true. Look at Flickr images from November through March and you will see the same floral patterned black waffle shirt about 80 times. It was obviously my favorite of the five.)

What else does an upstanding housewife in the burbs do with her spur of the moment alone time? Get a quick pedicure and head to the mall of course. As if it could be anything else.

I hit the usual suspects but didn’t find much and then ended up at French Connection. I was in a ruffled mood due to all the rude NJ women I had to fight through to try on clothes, so I was delighted when the 92 lb. gay sales associate complimented me on my “wellies”. I dare say that he would have retracted his comment had he known that they were merely L.L. Bean boots and not Hunters, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

(An example of the sheer rudeness of the above mentioned New Jersey shoppers: I arrived at a packed dressing room only to find that all the rooms were taken. The sales woman told me and a woman that arrived after me in line that she would take us to the other side of the store in case they had free rooms over there. The other shopper ran to get ahead of me to beat me to the next dressing room. I guess she thought it was a foot race. But, no luck, that dressing room was filled, too. So the sales woman, brought us back assuring us that something would open up in the original location. Wouldn’t you know, the other shopper raced me again. But, I arrived first so I stood in the doorway ahead of her. Then she decided to advance into the dressing room. I was laughing inside ready for her to start touching the dressing room doors to say that she claimed them first. Maybe she would say she had started paying rent on them last month. Sure enough a room opened a few minutes later and this shopper gathered her things to take into the room until I spoke up to say, “Actually, I was here first. You know, when I got to this dressing room first and then you came later behind me.”

Her response? Her response? “I guess that is true.” She knew. She knew. She wasn’t even trying to play oblivious. No, “Oh, I’m sorry, go ahead.” Nothing. And, this is for J.c.r.e.w. It’s chinos, t-shirts and cardigans people.)

The Milk and Beer Are Cold

So shiny. So new. So ultra functional.

Finally, we have a refrigerator with a door that stays closed all on its own.

I feel like my appliance could be a model for a Crate and Barrel catalog.

Craft Me This

It looks more impressive than it really is. After much Internet searching and belaboring, we found the perfect fabric to recover two well-worn chairs (that were generously passed down to us). I picked up a staple gun, watched a DIY video and voila. Mod end chairs a go-go. Now if I can only teach Lolo that I really do mind if she “shmeers” cream cheese on these.

Has anyone else noticed that more and more Yiddish is entering my daily lingo? Azoy vert dos kichel tzekrochen (that’s how the cookie crumbles) when you use the elliptical at the JCC I guess. Something about Yiddish phrases seeping in while you sweat.

No Picture Required

And, so it begins. I purchased a mini toilet seat and stool for Lolo just so the idea of using it could roam around our house. Permeate the walls. Sit on the side table. “Hmm. Peeing and pooping in the potty. How about that? Quite an notion indeed. Let me just sit with that for a while.”

She thinks it’s funny to sit on the potty and on a random first try with the new device, I struck gold because it was the exact time nature called. Not only did she not get that it was a momentous occasion, she was quite appalled. She didn’t want nature to call right then and frankly wanted to hang up on her. “No cheering mama. Make it go away. Who wants to peer into the toilet at that?”

Clearly we’ve got a ways to go. But, we have at least a toe in the water, recognition (if nothing else) that giraffes do not go on the potty.

This is not our toilet. Just a representation of the product we've chosen to try. I am trying to avoid at all costs the process of emptying baby waste from one pot to another.

A Sculpture Garden, Two Brides and a Refrigerator

A Sculpture Garden, Two Brides and a Refrigerator. In that order.

How do you spend a stay-cation over Labor Day weekend when you’re part of the Stinkerbean family? Well, you make yourselves ridiculously busy with things both sublime and mundane.

Here’s the sublime part.

Saturday we whisked ourselves away to Mountainville, New York, for a large dose of culture at the Storm King Art Center, which is a breathtaking outdoor sculpture reserve only about an hour or so away from us. I knew we would see a lot, maybe not all Storm King had to offer. After all, it’s an outdoor space comprising 500 acres of hills, grass and sculptures ranging in size from 5 to 300 feet tall. But, I knew we’d eat outdoors, play, touch some art, and sit in the grass. If we made it out without tears (since Lolo would be skipping her nap), we’d be ahead of the game. As we waited for a tram (otherwise known as a choo-choo to someone that still counts her age in months) to take us to the farther reaches of the property, we tried to think of how Lolo had changed our visit and she really hadn’t. It turns out that our collective attention span is much like hers and we were all ready to leave at the same time. That either says a lot about her maturity or not so much about ours.

Lolo's favorite "sculpture". She is very into diggers right now!

Sunday we headed back to Brooklyn to celebrate with our dear friends Hannah and Michelle as they got married under the Brooklyn Bridge. It was a lovely wedding, a beautiful and fitting setting and a glorious time. H & M, we wish you all the best of love, life and happiness! Mazel Tov!

Then we wrapped up the weekend with the not-so-sublime. Refrigerator shopping. Yes, we’re in the market for a new appliance. Not by choice. Who wants to spend a hunk of money on something that you can’t watch Bravo TV on anyway? Our current fridge may have been the best Frigidaire had to offer in the 80s, but now it’s just an inefficient mess that sometimes stay closed and sometimes doesn’t. The fridge freezes anything near the back and the freezer door leaks water. So, it’s definitely time to put it out of its misery. But, that meant we had to devote a whole day to visiting our nearby appliance stores. And, this is only after hours and hours of online research. If you were wondering, it is nearly impossible to find normal sized fridges anymore. All the new models are made to fit the dream kitchens of tomorrow and not the less dreamy kitchen spaces of the early 1920s. But, we do indeed have one on order. Now we will have two stainless steel appliances and two black ones rather than one white, two black and one stainless. Apparently, we’re headed in the right direction.

When it’s delivered, we will take a family picture with it.

Color-ific

Suddenly, but not so suddenly, the world is colorized. Several months ago I realized that Lolo could point to colors when I asked her to but she couldn’t name them with words. We’ve built on that until she started calling out when she saw “boo” (blue). And, then one day she was sitting in Zoe’s toy basket and pointed to the yellow button on the Guitar Hero and said, “weh-woh”. From there, it’s exploded. And, now she is a walking color narrator naming every hue as she sees it. Right now her toughies are pink and orange. But, she owns the rest including “puh-pah” (purple) and “back” (black). If she’s stumped on a color like lime green, she thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to insert a pretend word (with confidence) because it’s far better to sound like you know what you’re talking about than to say “i dunno.”

Meet The New Sheriff

I heard about this trick a long time ago, way back when I was a professional nanny for hire. Way back.

Then my friend, Rebecca, reminded me of the ingenious use of a kitchen timer to give kids tangible ways to deal with time and transition. So, now, “in 10 minutes we have to stop playing ‘short-order cook’ and make our way upstairs for nap” actually means something. She’s not horrible with transitions currently, but I thought I would head any future trouble off at the pass. Right now she’s just a major lollygagger. Slow moving and fast talking.

We’ve only used it a couple times but she’s getting it. It’s a completely objective teller of when “we gotta get movin’ stinker”. Somebody’s got to light a fire under her bum.

Weekend

The weekend of a thirty-something goes a little like this:

Don’t you worry, I’ll use all those coupons one day whether they are expired or not.

I’m Verklempt

I’m at a loss for words, The Soft Landing (as in the one and only superstar blogger Alicia who created The Soft Landing Blog) read me and then tweeted about me.

Me. Little old me among many blathering bloggers in the blogosphere. I’m the one who reads her. She’s my manual for all the good stuff. Holy brush with greatness.

Of course she wasn’t reading and commenting on me just because Lolo is a wickedly cool kid. She also read and enjoyed my write-up on bpa-free insulated straw cups and wanted to pass the post along to her readers here on Twitter.

This is big. This is insane big for me. This is like Heather from dooce calling and asking me if I want to go shoe shopping with her at Nordstrom big.

In any case, I’m over the moon and wanted to add in a little follow-up. (And, thank you to Lisa for bringing this up.) Yes, I knowingly left two insulated cups by Thermos out of my list of options. The Foogo and the Funtainer look like great cups but they are just too expensive for the stage we’re at now which is an 18 month-old throwing her cups on the concrete when she’s ready to resume using her sidewalk chalk.

So, what’s the takeaway for all of the aspiring bloggers out there? If you’re looking to increase traffic and want famous bloggers to read your posts along with picking up readers from as far away as Finaland and New Zealand. Stick to the basics, bpa-free cups and ganglion cysts on the side of your foot. Seriously. I cannot tell you the amount of traffic I get just from people looking for articles about ganglion cysts (which I talk about here, here, here, here and here). Apparently it’s another hole in the Internet. In any case, thank you Alicia. I can’t wait to see what happens with my traffic now.

Insulated Straw Cup Reviews A-Go-Go

Again with the cups. I know. But I have to do it. It’s for the greater good of moms like me across the country.

I don’t typically review and talk about specific baby/kid products. There are plenty of sites out there with that exact aim. But, I found a hole in the internet revolving around reviews of and options for BPA-free straw cups.

I’ll keep it as short and to the point as possible with tons of bullets rather than blathering text.

I was forced to find another straw cup for Lolo because the ones we had been using (the Playtex Insulator Sports Straw Cup) became bloated at the bottom from the volcanic-like heat in our dishwasher (even when using the top rack). Aside from the fact that they could no longer stand on their own, they were pretty good soldiers for us. I drew the line when Lolo started to assume all cups acted like weeble wobbles and held out her hands to catch a cup after she placed it on a table. (I will say that I know a lot of people who use these cups and have not had the bloated bottom issue because they have safe and effective kitchen appliances.)

Here’s where I break it down.

What I want:
• Insulated straw cup.
• Something that doesn’t leak excessively. (I learned long ago that there is no leak-proof cup. There are only leak-a-little-less ones.)
• Not alot of parts.
• Cup with valve that makes it pretty easy to obtain liquid.
• Cheap.
• BPA-free. Phthalate-free would be nice too, but there are fewer options down that road.
• It would also be nice if it could stand on its own.

What I found:

I found a few options, mostly at Babies-R-Us. I tried a few and returned what didn’t work for me.

1. My first purchase was the Insulated Straw Cup by Munchkin with the Backyardagins theme.
Pros:
• They’re kinda cute for a hot second, and then those little animated dudes started to bother me as a collective group in my cabinet.

Cons:
• One cup from the two-pack was easy to suck from, but the next one kept being handed back to me with the exclamation “empty” even though it was filled to the brim with water. So, I tried it myself and nearly popped a blood vessel trying to extract liquid.
• I didn’t use them long enough to find out how much they might leak especially with milk since milk seems to instantly expand once confined to a kids cup. But, I will say the assembly was totally annoying. You can’t reinsert the straw through the top without taking apart the flip-top mechanism, otherwise know as the orange-thingee pictured above.

Bottom line: I would never try these again. Too hard to suck.

2. Next, I pondered the Insulated Straw Cup by Nuby but thought better of it once I remembered what it was like to clean a Nuby cup after a friend left one at our house. They have two straws that make up the cup assembly and one is so super short that it was eaten by my dishwasher. I put it in but it never returned. I knew I could never keep track of the parts so I didn’t even consider it as an option. The other thing I don’t like about Nuby is that the kids actually have to bite the straw while sucking and now is not the right time to re-teach Lolo how to use a straw. They are cheap, though.

Bottom line: Small cup parts make me lose my mind.

3. I also thought about but didn’t try the Playtex “Baby Einstein” Insulated Straw Cup. I really do like Playtex cups and the construction of this one made it seem like it could stand up to my dishwasher. But, at $5.99 a cup in-store, I couldn’t bear to buy the 5 or 6 I needed. They also seemed a little hard to handle and baby-ish for an 18-month old. I dare say that I would have tried this if she was much younger and just starting with straw cups.

Bottom line: A little too expensive per cup when she is on the down-slope of using kids cups.

4. Then I moved on to the “Meal Mates” Insulated Straw Cup by Learning Curve. They seemed like they would fit my needs and have worked out pretty well.

Pros:
• They have a slip grip texture on the outside for easy handling by a toddler.
• They fit in traditional cup holders and pouches.
• The packaging states that they are BPA-, Phthalate- and PVC-free.
• Insulated so cool drinks stay cool.
• Only two parts to keep track of.
• No obnoxious characters to look at

Cons:
• They aren’t perfect, liquid does leak. But, I knew that would happen and it’s not the top of my wish list. I just try to keep it upright in my purse and away from my phone.
• The shape of the straw is different. It’s oblong so you can only use it from two directions. But, she’s adapted well to this change.
• The silicone valve that attaches to the cup top doesn’t have a super tight fit and I wonder if that seal will falter over time.

Bottom line: It’s the best option for me now with the cons that I am willing to live with until the next phase of Lolo’s beverage life.

5. As a last hurrah, I bought and didn’t return another variety of Playtex straw cup, the “Lil’ Gripper”. It’s not insulated, but it has the same basic innards as the Sports Insulator one we decided to ditch.
I love it except for one fatal flaw. Yes, fatal. The straw that attaches to the valve inside isn’t long enough. It’s maddening. Lolo would have an inch of water left in the cup and the straw couldn’t reach it. So, I tried out the straws from the bloated cups mentioned above and they were too long for this one. After a few scissor snips, I modified my old Playtex straws to make these cups usable. Otherwise, I would have returned them in a flash.

Bottom line: Had these come with straws that were long enough, I probably would have chosen these over the “Meal Mates” ones even though they aren’t insulated. I think they leak a little less, they are so easy to grip, I love the valve and overall cup construction, and they are less expensive. But, for now, we need something that is insulated. These don’t fit in every cup holder either as they are a little too wide at the bottom.

6. Another option out there that I did not try simply because I couldn’t find it in the stores close to me is the Fun Sip Insulated Straw Cup by Evenflo. It looked promising but I ran out of steam hunting down the cup options.

And, finally, for those of you who think I have way too much time on my hands or space in my brain for something as trivial as a straw cup, try spending a day with a thirsty toddler. Go ahead, throw a cup of milk in your laptop bag all day and see if you don’t care about the cup’s performance. Just think of it as my mid-year marketing report on juvenile products minus the PowerPoint presentation.

Vacation

This picture says it all!

Intervention Clarification

Apparently I need to clear something up. Seltzer water and carbonation are not in and of themselves bad for the environment. I have just been paralyzed by the Brita commercial that shows a person at the gym with a disposable water bottle when the voiceover says, “An hour on the treadmill. A lifetime in the landfill.”

Ugh, guilt me deadly. So, in saving the planet, I was just trying to keep a few extra plastic bottles out of the recylcling bin.

Artificially Sweetened Intervention

A few months ago I voluntarily decided to give up drinking soda, Coke Zero more specifically. I just became concerned with the amount I was drinking on a daily basis. Once I was honest with myself, I realized I was consuming at least two cans a day … more like three if it was extra stressful. And, it’s always stressful when you wear your anxiety on your sleeve.

That’s a lot of artificial sweetener and a lot of caffeine on top of the two or three cups of coffee I have everyday. Plus, it was tasty in the moment, but then I just felt “furblungit” afterward. Really, it’s not the caffeinated boost I’m after. I love the taste of Coke Zero, don’t get me wrong. But, I’m addicted to the fizz. I love carbonation. Love it.

I made the move to cut the habit by leaving the cases of soda at Target instead of trucking them to my house every week. The problem is that Matt isn’t really worried about drinking soda and still really wants to have cans of Coke Zero in the house.

Several weeks into my new soda-free lifestyle, I was tested in a big way. Sure, I had thoughts of stopping at CVS for a quit hit of a 20 oz. bottle. But, I didn’t. I always talked myself down from the ledge. And, then Matt stumbled across a special on cases of Coke at the store and brought home three 12-packs of the forbidden elixir “for himself”. It brought me to my knees. I couldn’t handle it. They were talking to me all day long. I thought about the cans just sitting there in the basement and how delicious it would be to knock one back with my yogurt, or after lunch, or at the park, or on the walk with Zoe. I was suddenly living the life of an addict. I rationalized my way into having one can a day until the cases were gone and then, once again, I would quit for good. I couldn’t help myself. I was weak, and they were oh-so-strong.

But, I’ve turned a corner and channeled a little “Dr. Drew.” Matt brings home Coke Zero whenever he wants, and I just don’t drink it. Falling off the wagon may have been the fuel I needed to stay clean. I was so mad at myself for giving in so easily that I am now on a mission to show that multi-billion dollar beverage king who’s boss.

I also realized that I set myself up for failure by trying to kick my seltzer water habit at the same time. Again, it’s the carbonation. I was trying to save myself and the planet simultaneously. Screw that. It’s all about me and my precious carbonated liquid.

You can’t take a smoker’s cigarettes away and deny them gum, too. Baby steps. I’ll tackle Mother Earth next  month.

Can You Barely Stand It?

Don’t lie. You are fully aware that it’s down to the final “two” on “The Bachellorette.” You live the drama and eat it up like ice cream with gossip sprinkles on top.

If you have something better to do at 9 pm on a Monday night, I am purely jealous.

Due to both my mother’s unhealthy obsession with this show and my love for “The Soup” on E!, I’ve been roped in and am actually biting my nails over the weekend wondering whether Jillian will choose Ed with the super short “short-shorts” or Kiptyn with a “y” and the more appropriately proportioned shorts. But, wait. Don’t count Reid out just because he walked away without a rose two weeks ago. It’s going to be the “most dramatic rose ceremony yet!”

She Knows “No”

She has mastered one answer to any question you throw at her. “No.”

But, wait. Before you laugh it off as run of the mill toddler drama. It’s more thoughtful than that.

A few months ago I noticed that she focused in on when I said “no,” “not,” or “don’t.” She seized on it and all the power it holds. For instance, today she picked up a puzzle piece and tried to use it as a magnet on the fridge knowing full well that it wouldn’t stick. She doesn’t know how else to say, “Mama, this puzzle piece has no magnetic powers.” So, she just said, “No,” as she repeatedly demonstrated that it wouldn’t stay up.

Her “No” isn’t a whiny or demanding proclamation. It’s the kind of relaxed and satisfied answer you would give after having had a delicious meal, followed by Italian coffee and dessert. Then the waiter comes over to ask if you’d like anything else, and you say pleasantly, “No, thank you.” That’s Lolo.

It’s uncanny how well she is able to recognize the inflection of a question even if she has no idea of the meaning. I see it most often when the TV is on during a commercial and the announcer asks a question like, “Are you paying too much for cable Internet?” From the other side of the room engrossed in another activity, she’ll hear the call and reach out to say, “No.”

The Art Of Gradually

It’s been a year since we set up camp here in the burbs, and we just hung pictures in the dining room.

In honor of our first anniversary, I decided to finally paint the walls that have been driving me crazy since we moved in. It’s the same color that the previous owners had, but they only one used one coat of paint. And, we all know what one coat of paint is … wrong.

By process of elimination, we figred out that it’s Alexandria Beige by Benjamin Moore. But, we had Home Depot color match it for us using a new low VOC paint called YOLO.

Voila! Bit by bit, we kick out the old owners and stamp this abode with our own style.

I had to throw the ever present U.S. Mail to the side so I could take a clutter free picture lest the Internet think that I am a bad housewife.

I Hate Her

Stupidly, I decided to do an exercise video the day before leaving on a plane with Lolo because there was no time for the gym. It’s a little program called “30 Day Shred” by the above pictured demon, Jillian Michaels. Actually, you only need 30 minutes to feel completely shredded but I did 60 because I must have something to prove.

I didn’t have any hand weights to use, so I improvised with cans of cranberry sauce. I moderated between the high intensity and so-called low intensity example exercises. Of course, the woman showing the easier moves had the superior exercise outfit. I rationalized that following her showed that I had an exceptional sense of style. What kind of motivation is that anyway? In any case, my quads were wrecked for the trip.

Unfortunately the huff-and-puff session wasn’t enough to alleviate the mounting anxiety brought on by the idea of plane travel with a toddler. I came as close to an anxiety attack as I ever have right before leaving the house. Plane travel in general gets me all bunched up. But, thinking about doing it alone with no one to lend a hand had me spinning out of control. The “what ifs” were endlessly dancing in my head. We got all the way to the airport only to realize I left the Beco carrier on the dining room table. No, I can’t live without it, and yes, she honestly still loves riding in her carrier. I know that she will be destined for one of these soon … Then, we raced all the way back to the house to retrieve it and then back to the airport for a second time only to realize that we had left the GoGo Babyz Travelmate at home. (It’s a fabulous invention that turns a car seat into a stroller by adding wheels and a handle.)

But, it all worked out because the airline agent felt sorry for me with all the crap I had to carry and gave Matt a “gate ticket” to accompany me through security all the way to the terminal. Lolo was a superb passenger and responded well to the whole experience as long as I had the right food and entertainment material on hand (which explains why I had to lug so much stuff along).

It only took me two days after arriving in VA to be able to walk up and down the stairs without cringing and muttering hateful words under my breath about my virtual personal trainer.