Hi Cheese, Hi Tiger

We took Lolo into the city last Saturday to see the tree and ice skaters in Rockefeller Center. Of course, it was crazy and packed and nutty and mind blowingly busy. But nothing can really prepare you, even if you went last year. Nothing pulls you into the reality of the mayhem you signed up for like swimming in the hoards of tourists looking up at a giant tree as you cut off their ankles with your stroller. She knew she was going to see the tree and see the ice skaters, but beyond that, I think she pictured something a little more like Bush Gardens than just decorated city streets. She kept asking where the rides were. And, while we will wait over two hours for Santa, we will not wait six to get on the ice at Rock Center. We had to tell her that if we waited in line to skate, we would never be able to go to THE PRINCESS TOY STORE! With that crafty diversion, we pushed ourselves on down to the Disney store where her eyes lit up at the princess castle. She was immediately inspired to dance and then asked if she could be Belle, which in toddler language means, “Can we buy this Belle costume?” She is now the proud owner of a glittery Belle costume with light up plastic shoes even though she knows nothing of this “Belle” other than that she’s the “yellow princess” that adorns her undies and toothbrush. I would have taken pictures in the Disney store but I was too busy telling myself not to have a panic attack at the sheer volume of people clamoring to buy anything and everything.

Note on post title: There are gangs of people trying to make a holiday buck who dress up in these amateur character costumes outside Rock Center. The idea is that they provide you with an easy photo-op and you get a picture with a SpongeBob-like character and they get a nice tip. They are everywhere and Lolo saw SpongeBob and decided that it must be a cheese character. We didn’t bother to correct her because it was hilarious to here her call out, “Hi Cheese!”

So excited to sit on her very own NJ Transit seat especially when across from a group of eight 16 year-old teenagers that are soooooo cool. "They even wear lipstick like me." Belle costume is sitting safely in that Disney bag right next to her.

3 Hours and 2 Dogs

Our babysitter took her two dogs to the same mall we took Lolo to because they offered to take pictures of your dog with Santa at 7pm last Sunday. She was stoked because she had seen how real the Santa they had was. Imagine her surprise three magical hours later when she reached the front of the line to find out that they had a volunteer from a local dog shelter dressed up as Santa for the pet photos. This picture slays me and I couldn’t resist getting permission to post her two lovely pups with the most menacing Santa I have ever seen. Catch that holiday death stare!

2 Hours, 15 Minutes

It’s a rite of passage for any family, waiting in line at the mall for Santa. We have a limited number of weekends left before Christmas due to travel, so we took the plunge on Sunday morning and got in line outside Talbots. Unfortunately everyone else seemed to have the “get it out of the way” idea, too. I know there is supposed to be a line. Of course. But this was more than a line. It felt like an inefficient and drawn out pilgrimage to lazytown. But, we came prepared, of course. We had a cooler of snacks and drinks and a bag of books. What I really needed was an airplane-sized bottle of wine, though. We took turns walking around the mall while one of us held our place in line.

We walked to the front of the line a couple times so she could see the process take place as Santa talked to each of the kids on his lap. She loved it and could barely stand the anticipation of her own conference with him, but it was a nightmare for Mr. Banks and I to watch. It took all of my restraint to not walk into that amateur production and show people what a tightly run ship is all about. But, I held myself back because the Santa they have is the real Santa. He has real white hair down to his shoulders, no wig. He has the rosiest cheeks and only had an attention span for the kids. You could tell it was all about the kids for him and he gave it his all. To that I can raise my glass and pull myself back from breaking bad on the 17 year-old elf assistants manning the cameras.

(At one point as we entered the snow globe just before you emerge to see Santa’s throne, Mr. Banks was idly chatting with one of the “line elves” and she actually said, “You know, the wait, it’s not our fault. It’s all the parents. They want the perfect picture and won’t let it go.” We neglected to ask her who was running the show anyway? And, why would you let a parent dictate how many pictures they could retake with a wait of over two hours in line. And, while I am ranting. Who’s brilliant idea was it to have fake snow falling in a giant snow globe that you were dragging your kids through on their way to get professional pictures? Every mother was patting down their child trying to shake the chemical flakes off their Christmas clothes.)

We made it through, and of course, it was all worth it to see the utter joy in her eyes as she told Santa what she wanted for Christmas. She had no fear and talked to him as if they go way back.

Lolo: “HI SANTA! (loudly) Merry Cwismas”
Santa: “Hi, how are you? Have you been a good girl this year?”
Lolo: “YEAH!”
Santa: “And, what would you like for Christmas this year?”
Lolo: “A FARM!”
Santa: “Ohhh …” (He looks at me as if to see if we are buying her a couple acres this year.)
Me: “A farm set, Santa.”
Santa: “Ah, a farm set. Well, I think we can take care of that for you since you’ve been such a good girl.”
Lolo: “THANK YOU SANTA!!! MERRY CWISMAS!”
Santa: “I think you have a future in public relations.
Lolo to me: “Mama, Santa is so nice!”

Mr. Banks snuck in and took an illegal picture of her with Santa as well!

Holiday Recap

It wouldn’t be a holiday out of town for the Stinkerbean clan without a trip to the closest urgent care center. Lolo awoke at 5 a.m. Christmas morning with a fever, some red spots on her stomach and back and a wicked cough. Since everything except for Walgreen’s was closed, she was soothed by juice, Motrin, and lots and lots of presents from Santa. (The hotdog and cheese brought by room service for dinner wasn’t bad either.) I was soothed by in-room coffee and gossip mags.

(I knew she wasn’t feeling well when she actually wanted to sleep in our bed. Normally, she only agrees to get in our bed so she can order us out to play.)

The spots eventually went away so our biggest fears of chicken pox were allayed but she definitely had an ear infection and some sort of upper respiratory infection.

As usual, she made it through in good spirits fueled by the attention thrown at her from both sets of grandparents. It was wonderful to see everyone and be able to get out of town for a bit.

The cold in the Northeast is unbearable right now. Frigid. Bone Chilling. So cold it makes me whine. You can’t be outside for more than the quick run from the car to the house. So we’ve been hunkered down inside with a lot of homemade entertainment like paper bag puppets, finger paint and dollhouse play. Yes, Lolo received the much anticipated dollhouse which we managed to conceal in the car on the way down South. When she received it, she was completely nonchalant like she knew it was coming and had already played with it in her dreams. (Pictures worshiping the dollhouse are forthcoming.)

The hit of Christmas