Crisp Crunch

My body has actually regulated itself as I strangle all the ever-loving sugar, dairy and carbohydrates out of my diet. There was a period of withdrawal where my body revolted against the lack of calories. It’s been pretty brutal and frankly, exhausting. For all that I cannot eat, I still spend a reeeedeeeculous amount of time thinking about what I could possibly eat. Last week I couldn’t sleep enough but now I am in a more pleasant groove.

I’ve become accustomed to celery stalks slathered with hummus at 4 o’clock  and almost had a panic attack when Trader Joe’s seemed to be out of celery packs. It’s quite a pleasing snack with the cool protein and the crisp crunch. Who knew celery had Vitamin K and potassium? Bonus.

Last week, I never felt full. I couldn’t eat enough and wanted to open a bag of spinach at midnight just to feel like I was eating something. Now, I can feel full and satiated but it’s not really what I want to eat. It’s what I am allowed to eat. I don’t want to eat any more ham or turkey or eggs or walnuts. I’m good with vegetables. I love vegetables but I want sweet.

It’s been an eye opening experience and I will probably modify my diet for good after this experience. I’ll only eat one serving of yogurt a day and look at the sugar content in the food I buy, but really, all  I need to survive at this point is my coffee creamer and splenda packets. I’ll even switch to stevia if I have to. I just need my sweet, milky coffee in the morning.

When I am running low on calories and start to fade late in the day, my eyes glaze over as I stare at the wall. If someone were here to ask me what I am thinking, I would tell them, “I am imagining myself curled in a corner surrounded by Stonyfield Chocolate Underground yogurt packs and an infinite number of clean spoons binging blissfully. I think I just came up with a modern day theme for the After School Special series.

I’m So Hungry

Let me just start off by addressing the drought. I haven’t posted in a while because I have been to the doctor about once a week for the past few months. If that’s not actually true, it feels like it.

I will keep it really vague for everyone’s benefit. No one really wants to know the details, trust me. It involves discomfort with my lady parts.

Because of the issues I’ve been having, I’ve had to make a drastic but temporary change to my diet. I can’t eat ANY sugar, white flour, potato products, dairy or anything remotely delicious for a little over two weeks. I can’t eat bagels or waffles or yogurt or sour cream or cookies of coffee creamer or bread or chips.

Now I know their are precious starving children around the world who would do anything to be punished with a steady diet of water, nuts, eggs, hummus, avocado and more hummus. But, as a registered dairy-addict, I am truly suffering. Besides that, I have no energy. I need sugars and delectible carbohydrates for my motor to run.

I never nap. I’ve got laundry and dishes and internet shopping to do besides all the vacuous reality shows I consume daily. But, I can’t make it through the day on low-carb whole wheat tortillas wraps and utterly plain and tasteless oatmeal. I’ve napped at least an hour each day this week while Lolo is down.

So, I put the call out to you. Anyone have any creative ideas on what I can eat? I have figured out some solutions for my meals. I had eggs, turkey bacon and a whole wheat english muffin for dinner but I can’t exactly take that to the pool for a snack. Have you tried any whole wheat snacks that have only 1 or 2 grams of sugar per serving? I need to dip something other than celery in my hummus at this point. As I told Mr. Banks, “I didn’t like celery when I was 4, and I don’t like it now. But, I have no other vessel for my bean dip. And, I have too much pride to eat hummus with a spoon.”

Seriously, I will take any food suggestions I can get!