3 Hours and 2 Dogs

Our babysitter took her two dogs to the same mall we took Lolo to because they offered to take pictures of your dog with Santa at 7pm last Sunday. She was stoked because she had seen how real the Santa they had was. Imagine her surprise three magical hours later when she reached the front of the line to find out that they had a volunteer from a local dog shelter dressed up as Santa for the pet photos. This picture slays me and I couldn’t resist getting permission to post her two lovely pups with the most menacing Santa I have ever seen. Catch that holiday death stare!

2 Hours, 15 Minutes

It’s a rite of passage for any family, waiting in line at the mall for Santa. We have a limited number of weekends left before Christmas due to travel, so we took the plunge on Sunday morning and got in line outside Talbots. Unfortunately everyone else seemed to have the “get it out of the way” idea, too. I know there is supposed to be a line. Of course. But this was more than a line. It felt like an inefficient and drawn out pilgrimage to lazytown. But, we came prepared, of course. We had a cooler of snacks and drinks and a bag of books. What I really needed was an airplane-sized bottle of wine, though. We took turns walking around the mall while one of us held our place in line.

We walked to the front of the line a couple times so she could see the process take place as Santa talked to each of the kids on his lap. She loved it and could barely stand the anticipation of her own conference with him, but it was a nightmare for Mr. Banks and I to watch. It took all of my restraint to not walk into that amateur production and show people what a tightly run ship is all about. But, I held myself back because the Santa they have is the real Santa. He has real white hair down to his shoulders, no wig. He has the rosiest cheeks and only had an attention span for the kids. You could tell it was all about the kids for him and he gave it his all. To that I can raise my glass and pull myself back from breaking bad on the 17 year-old elf assistants manning the cameras.

(At one point as we entered the snow globe just before you emerge to see Santa’s throne, Mr. Banks was idly chatting with one of the “line elves” and she actually said, “You know, the wait, it’s not our fault. It’s all the parents. They want the perfect picture and won’t let it go.” We neglected to ask her who was running the show anyway? And, why would you let a parent dictate how many pictures they could retake with a wait of over two hours in line. And, while I am ranting. Who’s brilliant idea was it to have fake snow falling in a giant snow globe that you were dragging your kids through on their way to get professional pictures? Every mother was patting down their child trying to shake the chemical flakes off their Christmas clothes.)

We made it through, and of course, it was all worth it to see the utter joy in her eyes as she told Santa what she wanted for Christmas. She had no fear and talked to him as if they go way back.

Lolo: “HI SANTA! (loudly) Merry Cwismas”
Santa: “Hi, how are you? Have you been a good girl this year?”
Lolo: “YEAH!”
Santa: “And, what would you like for Christmas this year?”
Lolo: “A FARM!”
Santa: “Ohhh …” (He looks at me as if to see if we are buying her a couple acres this year.)
Me: “A farm set, Santa.”
Santa: “Ah, a farm set. Well, I think we can take care of that for you since you’ve been such a good girl.”
Lolo: “THANK YOU SANTA!!! MERRY CWISMAS!”
Santa: “I think you have a future in public relations.
Lolo to me: “Mama, Santa is so nice!”

Mr. Banks snuck in and took an illegal picture of her with Santa as well!